remember to reload/refresh this webpage everytime you come here till i come up with a better method to make sure you have the latest copy. -=-=-=-=-=- do they still think of me? do they still think of me... ? do YOU still think of me? i wonder. ----- i remember riding on bikes i remember playing tag too i remember my childhood likes i remember playing war like we used to do i remember swinging on swings and girls having cooties i remember playing basketball and giving noogies time went on, the games got bigger we all got on weed, and now that pot smell lingers but i still do remember you guys dont understand why i gave up the life went straight, no more fist fights cause believe me, i dont like this light but im fighting a mental health fight and i know if i stayed that way, i couldn't fix my my mind up right i dont know drug dealers that slang the fix i need it can only be gotten with a prescription at the pharmacy look, i cant help it my mind isn't working i can't help it im crazy but i do still remember you homey -=-=-=-=-=- ---this is just kind of a rhyme i was writing in responce to rap music in general. --- why is everyone trying to be so hard? why does everyone keep playing that card? son im 45 fucking years old, its about time i raised the bar i aint trying to die, but you people act like life is free all this bullshit about how you kill, sell coke, and paint pictures of misery life is more than that, but if you want i cant paint it to you pretty and fitting i sit around everyday talking to people with real issues yes, people who have messed up brains and screws loose people who are worried about what they're going to do and i have to take my medicaitons by force like man, i'll chop you up by with force with my own two hands, i aint making a fucking phone call, im doing myself of course but you dont want to hear the real me then you go bitching and complaining well i tried to warn you the first 10,000 times g all that hard core 'i dont give a fuck' attitude makes you look like a pussy to me ------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- i have made some minor changes to my operating enviornment, its latest code can be found ----> here <---- well, soon, but it might not be there yet. dont worry if you have seen the first version, and this one is excessivly messy. the latest compiled version of my "Open" program (the operating environment for your mind) can be found ---> here -------- first off, with the help of asking googles gemini a very simple question, i was able to code a boot sector for my operating system that loads sectors off of the floppy into memory and jumps to that code in memory - this is a major break thru, and remember, i know i'll never finish anything that even resembles an o/s before i die, im not that cocky, but its a hobby :) ======== i drove out to the ball park to hit a few home runs but the ball players were gone and now the boy scouts pack guns lost prophets and druggies have over-run the stadium and on my way into the park, someone stole my wallet i guess he needed it to get a fix or some shit mindless kids they dont put my games on TV anymore reality shows galore and two dollar whores sitting in the dugout waiting for my turn to bat someone told me all the good ole' boys turned into rats and just as a tear was about to fall jesus endorsed my team and all man this isn't what i wanted, i want to go back to being a kid when we only dreamed of making it big and the sky was the limit not this wicked stadium i am trapped in. ======== ------- ------- --------------------------- life is bittersweet after all? we all end up 6 feet deep some of us live life for keeps some of us go to our graves dirt cheap and they say some of us go to heaven while some of us go to hell and look up to see some people fill their lives with crap to be fed so they can hide from themselves the fact that one day they will be dead some people hide behind drugs, some people go straight edge well straight edge can be more harsh than a 6 day drug binge and i cry for the victims of the holcaust while on the worst of drugs i want to change the world for the better but i learned from thugs its so hard to get over the fact that one day everyone i know will be gone, no more hugs --------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- i had an epiphany when i was sitting in my mothers car outside of a restaurant today listening to two snobby women talk about their jobs. then i heard some jerk cussing loudly "fuck this fuck that fuck you motherfuck this motherfuck that" very rudely. i may cuss but not in a public setting like a restaurant, and certantly not loud enough to annoy people. but anyway, for a while now, i have hated people. i figured out why. all you fucking people take for granted everything i cant have. you take everything from the clothes you wear to the cars you drive to the restaurants you eat at to your girlfriends and wives for granted. most of you take your very lives for granted. im not allowed ANY of this. yet you have the arrogance to be bigots towards me over my schizoaffective disorder. dont blame me for thinking the planet is full of rejects that dont know whats important in life. also, i dont really give two fucking shits what ice is doing to the immigrants. i dont care how many peoples rights get taken away. I've been telling you for YEARS now, specifically on facebook and this webpage, how they've taken away my rights over a mental health condition. but you would not stand up for my rights. so if you expect me to stand up for your rights or give a fuck about you, you're sadly moistaken. i hope you all go through the hell that has been my entire life. you had your chance to stand with me, but you wouldn't, now i stand AGAINST you. -=-=-= kings queens and jokers, which one are you? perhaps im just the fool trying to play it off cool maybe you are foreigner in a foreign land maybe the crown upon your head is a little too grand maybe you're ego is a little too rad but how do you know its all fools gold maybe maybe maybe we're all on the same dirt road just trying to find peace of mind in these bizarre times oh what is it like to sit upon the thrown this is a seat you never should have known are you the king looking for a government to overthrow? are you the queen looking for a king do you want wedding bells to ring? maybe i am your king, maybe we want the same thing then again, maybe not do you believe in fairy tales? told in pubs over bottles of ale? are you waiting for your ship to sale? well travel on down the path see if you laugh last after all, even fools know how to have a blast -=-=-= ======= well I've flown thru space at the speed of light and what i seen up in space was a true delight make sure if you fly that you give no fright after 2 days in space i forgot my age after a week in space i felt no more earthly pain but then i bumped my head on heavens gate and after that nothing will ever be the same i knew then i had nothing to lose and everything to gain then i decided to fly back down to the ground and when i landed it made a thunderous sound and unfortunately there was nobody around i wanted to tell people all about my special escapades and how i seen heavens gates in outerspace to reassure people its not all pointless, that rat race cause at the end of their lives they will be graced la la la la...... ======= ---below this line is just a silly rhyme i wrote----- well here i am, electronic pen at hand but i really have given up on explaining my stand i just know activist and NOT wrappers, deserve to be in high demand and whats up with trump? impeach that fool he's nothing but a useless tool making the USA look very very, VERY uncool man, i dont think i even wanted to be born with a normal brain yes, yes, i'd rather be me and BE insane normal minded people are boring and tame ... thats not the life for me though, i hate the bigotry time to stick it to the man how is corporate America more important than the little man i thought America was about helping the underdog well, now i guess i was wrong America is about tax cuts for the rich and if your broke? forget it the legal system will have you in i used to like this country till we had a butt pirate for president from where did this ass clown descend ? after this asshole it'll take America forever to mend but pay no attention to me, you never did anyway im the poety crying wolf about trumps determined apocalypse day like hey, its just life itself, who cares if he causes wwIII and blows it all away -----------------------------------------------------