remember to reload/refresh this webpage everytime you come here till  i come
up with a better method to make sure you have the latest copy.



-=-=-=-=-=-


do they still think of me? do they still think of me... ? do YOU still think of me? i wonder.

-----

i remember riding on bikes
i remember playing tag too
i remember my childhood likes
i remember playing war like we used to do

i remember swinging on swings and girls having cooties
i remember playing basketball and giving noogies

time went on, the games got bigger
we all got on weed, and now that pot smell lingers
but i still do remember

you guys dont understand why i gave up the life
went straight, no more fist fights
cause believe me, i dont like this light
but im fighting a mental health fight
and i know if i stayed that way, i couldn't fix my my mind up right

i dont know drug dealers that slang the fix i need
it can only be gotten with a prescription at the pharmacy
look, i cant help it my mind isn't working
i can't help it im crazy

but i do still remember you homey


-=-=-=-=-=-












---this is just kind of a rhyme i was writing in responce to
rap music in general.
---
why is everyone trying to be so hard?
why does everyone keep playing that card?
son im 45 fucking years old, its about time i raised the bar

i aint trying to die, but you people act like life is free
all this bullshit about how you kill, sell coke, and paint pictures of misery
life is more than that, but if you want i cant paint it to you pretty and fitting

i sit around everyday talking to people with real issues
yes, people who have messed up brains and screws loose
people who are worried about what they're going to do

and i have to take my medicaitons by force
like man, i'll chop you up by with force
with my own two hands, i aint making a fucking phone call, im doing myself of course

but you dont want to hear the real me
then you go bitching and complaining
well i tried to warn you the first 10,000 times g
all that hard core 'i dont give a fuck' attitude makes you look like a pussy to me
-------------------------------------------------------------





----------------

i have made some minor changes to my operating enviornment, its
latest code can be found ----> here <----
well, soon, but it might not be there yet. dont worry if you have seen
the first version, and this one is excessivly messy.


the latest compiled version of my "Open" program (the operating environment
for your mind) can be found ---> here





--------
first off, with the help of asking googles gemini a very simple question,
i was able to code a boot sector for my operating system that loads sectors
off of the floppy into memory and jumps to that code in memory - this is a major
break thru, and remember, i know i'll never finish anything that
even resembles an o/s before i die, im not that cocky, but its a hobby :)


========

i drove out to the ball park to hit a few home runs

but the ball players were gone and now the boy scouts pack guns

lost prophets and druggies have over-run the stadium



and on my way into the park, someone stole my wallet

i guess he needed it to get a fix or some shit

mindless kids


they dont put my games on TV anymore

reality shows galore and two dollar whores


sitting in the dugout waiting for my turn to bat

someone told me all the good ole' boys turned into rats


and just as a tear was about to fall

jesus endorsed my team and all

man this isn't what i wanted, i want to go back to being a kid

when we only dreamed of making it big and the sky was the limit

not this wicked stadium i am trapped in.
========


-------

-------










---------------------------
life is bittersweet
after all? we all end up 6 feet deep
some of us live life for keeps
some of us go to our graves dirt cheap
and they say some of us go to heaven
while some of us go to hell and look up to see

some people fill their lives with crap to be fed
so they can hide from themselves the fact that one day they will be dead
some people hide behind drugs, some people go straight edge
well straight edge can be more harsh than a 6 day drug binge

and i cry for the victims of the holcaust while on the worst of drugs
i want to change the world for the better but i learned from thugs
its so hard to get over the fact that one day everyone i know will be gone, no more hugs
---------------------------
---------------------------

---------------------------

i had an epiphany when i was sitting in my mothers
car outside of a restaurant today listening to
two snobby women talk about their jobs. then i heard
some jerk cussing loudly "fuck this fuck that fuck you
motherfuck this motherfuck that" very rudely. i may cuss
but not in a public setting like a restaurant, and certantly
not loud enough to annoy people.

but anyway, for a while now, i have hated people.

i figured out why.

all you fucking people take for granted everything i cant
have. you take everything from the clothes you wear
to the cars you drive to the restaurants you eat at
to your girlfriends and wives for granted. most of you
take your very lives for granted. im not allowed ANY of
this.

yet you have the arrogance to be bigots towards me over
my schizoaffective disorder. dont blame me for thinking
the planet is full of rejects that dont know whats important
in life.

also, i dont really give two fucking shits what ice is doing
to the immigrants. i dont care how many peoples rights get
taken away. I've been telling you for YEARS now, specifically
on facebook and this webpage, how they've taken away my rights
over a mental health condition. but you would not stand up
for my rights. so if you expect me to stand up for your rights
or give a fuck about you, you're sadly moistaken. i hope you
all go through the hell that has been my entire life. you had
your chance to stand with me, but you wouldn't, now i stand
AGAINST you.




-=-=-=


kings queens and jokers, which one are you?
perhaps im just the fool
trying to play it off cool

maybe you are foreigner in a foreign land
maybe the crown upon your head is a little too grand
maybe you're ego is a little too rad

but how do you know
its all fools gold
maybe maybe maybe we're all on the same dirt road

just trying to find
peace of mind
in these bizarre times

oh what is it like to sit upon the thrown
this is a seat you never should have known
are you the king looking for a government to overthrow?

are you the queen looking for a king
do you want wedding bells to ring?
maybe i am your king, maybe we want the same thing

then again, maybe not

do you believe in fairy tales?
told in pubs over bottles of ale?
are you waiting for your ship to sale?

well travel on down the path
see if you laugh last
after all, even fools know how to have a blast


-=-=-=
    
    
    
    
=======


well I've flown thru space at the speed of light
and what i seen up in space was a true delight
make sure if you fly that you give no fright

after 2 days in space
i forgot my age
after a week in space
i felt no more earthly pain

but then i bumped my head on heavens gate
and after that nothing will ever be the same
i knew then i had nothing to lose and everything to gain

then i decided to fly back down to the ground
and when i landed it made a thunderous sound
and unfortunately there was nobody around

i wanted to tell people all about my special escapades
and how i seen heavens gates in outerspace
to reassure people its not all pointless, that rat race
cause at the end of their lives they will be graced

la la la la......



=======








  
---below this line is just a silly rhyme i wrote-----
well here i am, electronic pen at hand
but i really have given up on explaining my stand
i just know activist and NOT wrappers, deserve to be in high demand

and whats up with trump? impeach that fool
he's nothing but a useless tool
making the USA look very very, VERY uncool

man, i dont think i even wanted to be born with a normal brain
yes, yes, i'd rather be me and BE insane
normal minded people are boring and tame
... thats not the life for me

though, i hate the bigotry

time to stick it to the man
how is corporate America more important than the little man

i thought America was about helping the underdog
well, now i guess i was wrong

America is about tax cuts for the rich
and if your broke? forget it
the legal system will have you in

i used to like this country till we had a butt pirate for president
from where did this ass clown descend ?
after this asshole it'll take America forever to mend

but pay no attention to me, you never did anyway
im the poety crying wolf about trumps determined apocalypse day
like hey, its just life itself, who cares if he causes wwIII and blows it all away
-----------------------------------------------------